Why is Society’s Deterioration a Harbinger of Geula?

Why is Society’s Deterioration a Harbinger of Geula?

When we take a cold, hard look at the world today, it doesn’t take much time or insight to recognize that we are living in an unusual or, as some people put it, a “crazy world.” Things just aren’t normal anymore. It’s a meshigana “velt.” Slowly but surely, we are witnessing firsthand, and we sense that things are spinning out of control.

Although we could draw upon any number of things to illustrate this point, I want to focus on just one in this episode. And once we absorb that particular anomaly, drill down to its core, we will be in a better position to extrapolate to better understand other anomalies as well.

While some parents may not be experiencing firsthand any of what I am about to talk about, especially those with young children, a growing number of parents have been experiencing a shift in their relationships with their children. This is particularly true regarding parents who have children who are teenagers or older, and all the more so those with adult children. 

This shift spans the spectrum. On the relatively more innocuous end, parents are finding it more difficult to have honest dialogue with their children. This isn’t just limited to helpful criticism. Many parents claim that they can’t tell their children anything anymore. Even helpful suggestions that would improve their children's lives or at least make it easier are off the table. Remaining silent has become the strategy for success. And those courageous parents who will say it anyway are indulging in risky behaviour, as those good intentions may be just the thing that will create more distance. 

And yet, while this alone is enough to be very hurtful to a parent, not every child’s pushback stops there. For some parents, their children have, to various degrees, literally pushed their parents out of their lives. Visits and even phone calls aren’t as frequent. Those tender family moments have largely become memories. 

And believe it not, for some, the situation has crossed all red lines, as there is a disturbing trend of children cutting themselves off from their parents completely. Parental estrangement has become a growing phenomenon in our community. 

Among the most frightening developments in Klal Yisroel today is the expanding population that has completely pushed their parents out of their lives. Although as baffled as the rest of us, Boruch Hashem, a growing cadre of caring and talented m’chanchim and therapists are struggling to address this phenomenon. This past Tisha b’Av, the Chofetz Chaim Foundation devoted its annual video to raising awareness and strengthening the mitzvah of Kibbud Av v’Ame. 

With all of our other pressing needs, we need to ask ourselves, “Why would something as fundamental as the 5th Commandment in the Aseres HaDibros be selected to be the Tisha b’Av video? How could it be that Broken Ties, a wonderful organization devoted to supporting and helping these broken-hearted parents who have lost the relationship with their precious children, be steadily growing across the globe?”

What is going on?

It seems that the answer can be found on the final daf of Mesechta Sota.  The braisa tells us that B’ikvasa d’Meshicha, as the footsteps of Moshiach approach, there will be numerous anomalies: chutzpa will run amok, the economy will crumble, the social order will deteriorate, governments will become fountains of heresy, respect for Talmidei Chachomim will decline, and the leaders of nations instead of leading, will be following the masses they supposedly control. In a word, society as we have always known it will deteriorate; the foundations will crumble. 

But perhaps the most startling of all is that the backbone of society that has existed since time immemorial, the family structure, will disintegrate. The Braisa tells us that the youth will humiliate their elders. A son will disgrace his father, and a daughter will rise against her mother. Fathers will find that the members of their households will become their enemies.  

We need to ask, “Why is it that the Geula needs to be preceded by the deterioration of society in all of these many facets, and especially the disintegration of family itself? " What is the common thread that we see in all of this deterioration?

HaRav Yisroel Moshe Sorotzkin in his sefer, Kaitz HaYeshua, quotes the Rambam who says that the entire purpose of the Creation in general, and of Man in particular, is for Man to recognize and internalize the Oneness of Hashem. 

What does this mean?

The Ramchal explains that the Rambam means that Man needs to recognize that “Ain Od Milvado.” “Ain Od Milvado” is the complete recognition that there is nothing besides Hashem. Whatever we think has existence, animate or inanimate, only exists because Hashem wills it to exist. There is no independent existence to anything, despite our perceptions otherwise. Included in this is that everything in history is carefully designed to bring Man to this recognition. 

Regarding the Braisa in Sota, we previously mentioned, that delineates what will occur prior to the Geula, HaRav Yeruchem Levovitz, zt’l, explains that for us to fully grasp that Hashem is everything, “Ain Od Milvado”, anything and everything that we thought was foundational, independent of Hashem must cease to exist beforehand. When the Geula finally occurs, Hashem will be appearing on what is essentially a clean slate.

Common respect, the economy, the social order, governments, leadership, and, of course, at the core, the family structure upon which everything else is built will become nullified. It is only then that Hashem will bring the Geula.

So, as painful as what is happening to our precious families is, at least now we have a context. The breakdown of communication between parents and children, the respect, the closeness, and the inviolability of the family unity, by necessity, need to fracture. This isn’t punishment for the parents’ sins. It isn’t even the consequence of inadequate or “bad parenting,” but rather a necessary step in dissolving the structure of society as a precursor to the Geulah. 

Although we don’t know Hashem’s cheshbon with every individual, it is very possible that since only certain parents are experiencing this breakdown, for them, the agonizing pain may very well be what Chazal call “Yissuim shel Ahava”. Rashi explains that “Yissurim shel Ahavah” are when HaKodesh Boruch Hu gives a person pain in this world, not as punishment for a sin, but rather to increase a person’s reward in the World to Come beyond any reward that person could earn as a result of his Mitzvos that he did. 

Parents who are enduring what seems to be inexplicable need to see their pain in the larger picture- what is necessary for the coming of the Geula. Although this doesn’t assuage the pain itself, it does give that pain purpose. This is not dissimilar to the biggest tzaddikim in history, such as Rebbe Akiva, who understood what he needed to tolerate as the path to elevating his neshama and bringing him closer to Hashem, not to mention increasing his Olam HaBa. 

So, as we witness society continue to crumble, and we lose those foundations and anchors upon which we have built our lives, we certainly feel insecurity and trepidation. After all, this is the only world that we know, and to feel it slipping away is traumatic. 

At the same time, as Yidden who are longing for the Geula, we need to focus on where this is all leading, what this is really all about.

Just as when it comes time for a seed to germinate, the seed coat, or covering over the seed needs to break down to allow the embryo, or the immature plant contained within the seed to emerge and grow into a seedling, so too the order of the world in all of its various dimensions needs to break down to allow the Geula to emerge. It is only then that we can hope to fully grasp, “Ain Od Milvado”, the purpose of Creation and Man itself. We yearn for that Geula despite its painful path.